Latest posting for the Health Activist Writing Month Challenge from WEGO http://blog.wegohealth.com/
Prompt #13 :10 Things I Couldn’t Live Without. Write a list of the 10 things you need (or love) most.
THINGS I NEED (to stay alive)
Food & Water
THINGS I LOVE (and need, that make me feel alive)
The hopeful thought
RETAINING CHOICE AMID CHANGES
Prompt #12 : Stream of Consciousness Day. Start with the sentence “_______”just write, don’t stop, don’t edit. Post!
The first sentence that comes to mind is, "Sometimes I don't know what the use is."
Use... why "use"? It seems to be a driving principles in my life. Since it's so core, let's explore. (hmmm, a poem coming on?) I've always said things to myself like, "What have you done today to justify your existence?" and "In my life, I just want to be well-used!"
Use to what end? for what purpose? and whose purpose anyway? I do think we humans are wired for making change, hopefully as an improvement. Some people seem to be wired to make negative change, as in destruction, but I tend to think that they have a positive drive that has been in some way perverted by resistance from others, blame, maybe abuse, so that the only way the drive for change can bust out is by doing damage. A positive drive to make change diverted by fear yields destruction. So let's assume for a minute that we're all wired for change of some sort.
At the same time, as a culture, we seem to be wired with fear of change... change that we haven't chosen. So free choice comes into this. If change Happens TO us, we can be not too thrilled. We can feel disempowered, victims to forces beyond our control. We immediately turn our powers to effect change toward defenses, or struggle to regain control.
It seems a waste of good energy. When Mr. Control steps in, the dynamics in my life are thrown askew. So, if control is the issue, the obstacle, the perverting factor, can I not exercise control over Control? Or perhaps it's my own resistance to control that does the mischief!
One way around that is for me to not resist, to go With whatever un-asked-for change shows up in my life. That way I retained my ability to Respond, to Choose, to make Use even of that. Externally imposed change is full of possibility. If I can take a minute to sift through whatever it is, looking for the possibilities, then I am free to choose those that seem the most useful.
But wait a minute! Is "use" even the best criteria for choice? I really need to question even that, since my whole construct rises from that assumption... that "use" is good. What would life be, who would I be, without that criteria of usefulness? If I weren't being useful, of what might my life consist? Appreciation? What would a life of appreciation look like? More peaceful, joyous. I think others would be drawn to it. I might even end up Doing the work that I do, but from a different place in Me. I would be working from my heart, rather than my... what? Ego? Is usefulness a balm for the ego? Yes, I think so. It's a way to find worth, to matter in the world. Not that that is a bad thing... just good to notice. But if I'm already of worth and have nothing to prove, maybe being appreciative would be a much more life-serving way to go. Sweet! Out of what else might I live and how would each option change my experience of my life?